this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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