The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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