It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
