if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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