mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
