I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
