I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
