Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish you could order shots online.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
