Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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