I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
