What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
