a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
