stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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