i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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