I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
