Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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