did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
