When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
