I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
