I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
