Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
