some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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