I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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