Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
