if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
