We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
