The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
