Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
