is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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