The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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