i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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