this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
