i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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