i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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