So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
