i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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