yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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