is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
