is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
