we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
