it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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