it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
