Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
