I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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