u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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