FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
