So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
