are you so shy because you have an std?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
