hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
