how can u be prego again
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
